(michellek) wrote in meganandcal,

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Hola. This is a fic I wrote a while ago and I thought I might as well post it here. Cause it's a a Cal/Megan group. So. Makes sense, I think.

Title: Recollections
Fandom: CSI: Miami
Pairing: Calleigh/Megan
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Calleigh's the only one who remembers her.

Disclaimer: Not mine. Don't sue. Please?


No one talks about Megan anymore. It's almost like she never existed.

Calleigh knows that's not the truth. She remembers Megan well; too well for her own good.

//Megan pulled away sharply, but the feel of the kiss -- their first kiss -- lingered on Calleigh's lips.

"I'm sorry," Calleigh muttered. "I don't know what came over me." Curtailing her desire to ramble, she wondered why she had to go and screw everything up. They had been having such a nice time, and she had to go and ruin it by acting on her latent crush.

Megan shook her head. "It's been awhile," she said.

Calleigh wasn't sure what the words meant in this context. She understood when Megan pulled her in for another kiss.//

There's no way to reach her. Calleigh knows, for she's tried every option.

Megan's run away.

Left her.

//"I don't want to do this if you're not ready," Calleigh said. She bit her lip. "I'd understand if you weren't. Just tell me." The last thing she wanted was to get involved with someone still in love with a man who could never come back.

"I am. Really." Megan brought her fingers to the side of Calleigh's face. The tenderness of the act made Calleigh feel more at ease; maybe this *really* wasn't going to be about comfort or trying to forget.

Maybe Megan *really* wanted her and only her.

Leaning towards her, Megan brushed her lips against Calleigh's cheek, letting a soft exhalation of breath fall against the skin.

Suddenly, Megan's mouth claimed hers, letting her tongue slip between the parted lips. She breathed a sigh of relaxation into Megan's mouth as she brought her fingers to the buttons of her blouse. The act of undressing each other was mostly a blur, punctuated by the feel of fingers on her bare skin.

But trailing her mouth down Megan's body was vivid and intense. Watching Megan do the same to her was almost more than she could handle.//

"You okay?"

Calleigh blinks, looks into the direction of Horatio's voice. "Me? I'm fine," she lies. The good thing, though, is that she lies *well,* cloaking all of her fallacies in a calm smile.

"You could tell me--"

"I'm fine. Really." Horatio looks at her with kind eyes, ones that almost make her want to say: You're right. I feel terrible, I miss her, and I can't pretend that she means nothing.

But he doesn't deserve that. Nobody she knows deserves her melancholy streak of angry declarations.

Except Megan, but not really, because she means *something.*

//"Stay with me," Megan whispered into her ear.

Calleigh let Megan pull her back onto the bed but managed a weak, "I have to go back to my place and get something to wear to work."

"Wear what you wore yesterday."

"People will notice."

"Is that really the worst thing in the world?"

Calleigh smiled. "No."//

"Okay," Horatio says. "But if you need to talk--"

"I will," Calleigh nods. "Swear."

She watches Horatio walk away, suppresses the desire to run after him.

//She woke up so many mornings with Megan's hand on her stomach, Megan's taste on her tongue, Megan's smell on her fingers.

She woke up so many mornings *happy.*

Until it just ended.//

She recalls those last two weeks before Megan left. She thinks she should've seen it coming; Megan was scaling back on work, leaving herself mainly in the background during investigations.

More importantly, Megan was dodging her. Canceling their dates; not returning her calls; keeping their interactions at work to a minimum.

//"If you don't want to see me anymore, just tell me," Calleigh snapped. She didn't want to be confrontational, some sort of angry ex-lover without a sense of tact. But she couldn't help it. Things were going *so* well, better than the beginnings of the majority of her relationships. Then, Megan just ditched her without a word.

"It's not about you," Megan replied. "I swear." She looked like she was about to cry, which made Calleigh soften immediately.

"What is it about, then?"

Megan shrugged, eyes watering. "I don't know. I need some time, okay?"

"Okay," Calleigh found herself uttering despite her inner desire to know what was going on in Megan's head, even if it was full of only the vaguest ideas.

"I want you to know, though...I care about you a lot, okay?"

Calleigh felt Megan's hand on hers, thumb stroking a patch of skin just above her wrist. "I care about you, too."

Megan didn't kiss her before she walked away.

Two days later, she was gone for good.//

Sometimes, Calleigh's certain that Megan loved her. Others, she's certain that Megan didn't care about her at all.

Her feelings for Megan never waver.

//"Megan's decided to leave the department."

When Horatio first said the words, Calleigh assumed that he meant a transfer. But, as he went on, she knew what he really meant.

Megan *left.* Left.

But she couldn't believe that Megan didn't want any of them to contact her. Sure, she was in pain, but she couldn't want to slice away everything from her current life.

She *couldn't* want to abandon her.

Except she did. She didn't accept her phone calls. Her letters were returned. Emails, pages, everything was ignored.

Then, she stopped trying.//

Now, she misses her more than ever.

Calleigh blinks the tears away. Everything between them must have been a lie.

She has to be like the rest of them and forget Megan.

But she's not sure she can manage it.

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